I have had little time for my blog lately. Because it is, in many ways, my therapy, I feel a little off-kilter and discombobulated with my infrequent postings. This is my way to get everything that can be “bottled up” out and off of my mind, and without regular posting, various events and situations have been stuck in my mind, and perseverating on them is not doing any of us any good. Gaah!
I volunteer at the kids’ schools. I am a room parent, I help out with PTO events, and I am a committee chairperson for the school’s Red Ribbon Week. I will be teaching religious education for Jake’s class again this year. Every single one of these commitments has required my time at a meeting this week. It has been worse than having a full-time job!! I have been running around town to various locations, have received numerous handouts, and have had to email several people to get things in place for the new school year.
Additionally, Cole is in school five days a week for 2 and a half hours. I enjoy the little break, but in many ways, I’m paying for it in spades. He isn’t napping anymore, even though he really, probably could use one most days. He’s feisty when he’s tired. He is more opinionated. (I swear, he’s a teenager in disguise…the tone he uses..yeesh!) Also? He wants to be by me every.single.cotton-picking-frickin-minute. He has to sit by me as I type. If I am in the laundry room, he’s right there behind me. He is even camping out by the bathroom door again, like he did when he was little. To top it off, he’s 4, so I am asked about eleventy billion questions when we are together. I can’t finish a sentence or a complete thought. I have had to retype this post about 4 times already because he has interrupted me to ask questions about:
-his t-shirt (he got a teeny-tiny spot of water on it..and needed a new one)
-his Happy Meal Power Ranger Toys (which one is my favorite? Which one will he get next? Does he have to share with his brothers?)
-a mark on his finger (it is marker from preschool)
-a spot on his spoon (water spot from the dishwasher)
-watching a tv show
-getting an app started on the ipad
– the song “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” (Do I know it? the answer: yes, yes I do.)
When he pipes up with “Mom?!” I want to cringe. I shouldn’t, but yet, I just.want.to.finish.a.task/post/thought. One day I will miss this (or so I’m told), so I am trying to be present…but good golly!!
I haven’t had a chance to write at night, either, as I am helping with homework, getting dinner ready, shuffling someone to therapy, dealing with chores that have been avoided, packing lunches for the next day and, well, you get the drift here. You know what I’m saying.
And, as the icing on my annoyance sundae, Tate requires a parent to be in his room in order for him to fall asleep right now. If Hubz or I don’t sit in there, he roams around, scripting very loudly, keeping both of his brothers up past their bedtimes. It is so not awesome. It is awful. The past two nights I wasn’t able to come back downstairs until almost 9 pm. So, I haven’t had a lot of alone time. I haven’t had much accomplished, and I have been trying to meet all of the demands of three boys. I’m losing it.
Something has to give, and since I’m really trying to commit to living a more healthy lifestyle (ie: I am following WW Online and exercising regularly), the blog is getting omitted. Hopefully next week I will have more time.
So, I’m just a bit frustrated right now…I know this, too, shall pass…but today I feel very anxious and frustrated. And it helps to get it “out there”.