A family's story

Posts tagged ‘Middle School’

Ensuring a Good Fit

 

Somehow, and I’m not exactly sure how we have gotten “here”, Tate is finishing up fifth grade, and we are prepping for middle school. Sixth grade. We are trying to determine how to make middle school successful for him.

We had our IEP meeting. We discussed his strengths. We discussed the challenges he faces. We agreed that his placement is the best option at this point in our district. While I understand the placement, I’d be remiss if I didn’t state that I worry that he won’t be challenged academically. He is more intelligent than those standardized tests indicate, that’s for sure. When he gets bored his “maladaptive” behaviors begin…he’s good about communicating non-verbally when the situation isn’t right. I will be monitoring the situation very closely next year, not hesitating to call meetings as needed to keep him on track.

Currently I’m frustrated that it took 6 months for the district to allow our BCBA to come observe the classroom and give some feedback as to what might help Tate. It is also exasperating that no one truly seems to understand that autistics have sensory needs that need to be anticipated and intervention needs to happen prior to a meltdown, not as a reactionary solution after the behavior occurs.

The hard truth is that there really isn’t any program in our district that is a great fit for Tate. We know that the general education setting, even with a 1:1 aide would be too difficult. The instructional program pulls back on adult support, and Tate requires many adult prompts to stay on task and to function in the classroom. Hence, he will be in a restrictive classroom of kids in grades 6-8 who require significant adult intervention. It also has a life-skills slant to it.

I visited the classroom where he’ll be in the fall. The observation itself went smoothly. The teacher is vibrant. She’s respectful. She has fun with her students. Most importantly, she treated each student as a PERSON. Even in my brief observation, it was obvious that the students each bring their own set of learning issues to the classroom. She was able to differentiate her approach towards the students. I was keenly aware of the respect she showed her students. She wanted to be there with them.

Unlike a fitting room with a new pair of jeans, I can’t try each one on for size and comfort. This is somewhat like a stitch fix order. We are making an educated guess at the fit, and when it comes down to it, we hope it fits like a glove..or maybe will work with slight tailoring. Fingers crossed.

Upside to this is that nothing is ever permanent. We can always call another meeting…but in the meantime, I hope I’m not lopping off a huge chunk of length for him that causes Tate to be confined to something that won’t work well in the long run.

Ah, the challenge of parenthood….always wondering if the decision is the best one.

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Middle School is looming…

April 29th. How the heck is it already April 29th?! This year really seems to have moved full speed ahead!!! The boys are done with this school year in 6 weeks. I am ironing out therapy, summer school, and summer activity schedules right now. It seems so far away, and yet, so close.

I also can’t believe that we are nearing the end of the school year. Big changes loom ahead. Jake heads off to middle school in the fall. MIDDLE SCHOOL. I hated middle school…well, back then it was called Junior High. And who am I kidding, I went to a K-8 parochial school…but the 6-8 graders did have their own area of the school. It was the armpit of my educational experience. Yuck. I am trying not to project that too much upon him.

This is another step closer to his independence, to him being a “big” kid. Middle schoolers are required to know their schedules, juggle locker combinations, dress in a PE uniform for gym, and switch classrooms for every period. That’s a lot of moving around and keeping things straight for any child, let alone for a kiddo with executive functioning issues, focus and attention issues, and anxiety. I need to calm my own anxiety so that I will be able to help him with strategies as the struggles occur. And they will occur…but hopefully we can work through them and stop struggles from taking over.

Middle School also means a new IEP team. A new group of teachers, specialists, and the like. We are currently in the process of re-evaluation. It’s time for his 3-year reassessment. I know he’ll still qualify for services, but I’m also nervous about what may come out of this meeting. Unfortunately, we had already had his yearly review meeting in February, in which it was recommended that he take Instructional Math and Instructional Reading/Language Arts, which are smaller classes. We worry that he will lose ground on the curriculum. He is in a co-taught classroom for other subjects.

With the reevaluation, I’m hoping that he will score higher in language arts/reading to justify a co-taught experience. I really do think he can handle it. It’s not like he doesn’t get support at home. We have tutors, he works with me, he works with Hubz. I just think he CAN do it, if that is what we expect of him. The math, well, the math I understand. He is floundering. It would help if he used his tools…and if the teachers reinforced that he should use his tools. I understand that he needs to be independent and needs to figure some things out on his own, but seriously, give the kid a checklist so that he has a reminder of what he CAN use in class to help him.

As much as Jake continues to have academic struggles, it has been a banger year for social/emotional growth. He is doing amazingly well. We had to make some tough decisions, but ultimately, our choices have worked well. He is happier, more well-adjusted, and able to address triggers and cope with them. He is playing with the boys on the playground and eating lunch with them in the cafeteria. He is a part of it…instead of being mothered by the girls, he has friends…and his confidence is growing by leaps and bounds.

Middle school also means new friends. Two and a half elementary schools feed into our middle school. The kids that he’s grown up with over the past 6 years know him and his quirks. They know they have to wait and be patient. They know he talks too much when he’s nervous, and that he will defer to talking about animals when he doesn’t know what else to say. They help him a lot, too. But the other 100+ new sixth graders don’t know him like that…and what happens then? I am not even going to let myself think about 7th and 8th graders. I just may faint.

I know it’s a right of passage. I know that we all have had to figure these things out..and that we have all had our share of failure and success. I just hope beyond hope that he is okay…and that we’ve given him enough tools to be successful.

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