A family's story

Posts tagged ‘independence’

They’re Not So Little…

I noticed something lately…and it’s kind of strange. I have been able to pee alone for a little while now. I mean, someone may be on the other side of the door, but I can LOCK IT…and I am not worried about imminent danger for my children. Tate may rattle off his scripts from the other side of the door. Cole may call my name eleventy-billion times from the other side, but really, I don’t have anyone IN THERE with me. After 10 years of having someone sitting around as I do my business, it’s glorious to be be able to use the bathroom without an audience!!

I’ve also been able to get dinner done (when I choose to actually cook) without trying to juggle umpteen different needs and wants. If Cole or Tate need help, Jake is able to assist. If the boys want to play outside, I shove them into the backyard and keep the screen open to listen for shouts of pain, but mostly just hear shouts of boys being boys. They bicker, they are pretending to be various characters or people, but I don’t have to sit out there and watch their every.single.move.

My house is staying somewhat neater, as well. Don’t get me wrong, we still have massive clutter and there is a family of dust bunnies planning their revenge under my couch, but I don’t have nearly as many spills, goobers, or mysterious smears to clean up. Instead, I have more time to stay on top of household chores that I typically chose to ignore, like keeping closets picked up and organized, knowing where I put important papers, shredding junk mail, and keeping laundry up to date and almost putting it all away.

I had heard about this mythical life…and we’re getting so close. Next year, all three of my children will be in elementary school. It is so weird to think that my “baby” is headed to kindergarten. And that he is, really, my most independent child. He does things at 4 that my other two never did. Some of it is that I babied Jake. Some of it is that Tate couldn’t motor plan it. A lot of it is that Cole is the youngest, and he naturally wants to be older. Always. So he does much of his own self-care. I check in, mind you, but he can get dressed, brush his teeth, get himself snacks, and keep himself occupied.

This is all quite liberating. I have time to think. I have time to sit and see what people are rambling about on Facebook. I have time to READ BOOKS! And yet, as any parent can attest, there is that little piece that is shocked that time has moved so quickly. My babies are not babies any more. We are at the cusp of that “next phase”…They’re not so little…and they’re not so dependent…and I need to figure out what to do with this new phase…I’m excited about it…just need to figure out what comes next. Huh.


A little bit of awesome

Over our winter break I noticed something that’s a little bit of awesome….our boys are becoming more independent. There’s a whole other scary side to that, of course, but for now, I’m focusing on the awesome that is their independence.

Rather than relying solely on me or Hubz for assistance with a toy, or help getting a cup of water, they asked each other. I love that my nine-year-old can get into the cupboard, get cups for himself and his brothers, and fill them up. I love that after asking me for a fruit snack, Tate can go to the pantry and get it for himself. I love that Cole is potty-trained and uses the toilet without me having to clean him up after every visit. (I wish he would put his pants back on, but well, we’ll take things one at a time.)

The boys were also relying on each other for entertainment. They chased. They played with Legos…oh, did they play with Legos. They read books to each other (mostly Jake reading to Cole). They acted silly together, bantering and swapping silly phrases. There was a ton of potty talk, but it was completely age appropriate. If one of the younger two boys wanted to watch a tv show or DVD, Jake was able to help out and get it started.

The other part of the day where this awesome independence was much appreciated was early in the morning. Even though we were on break, our boys still were up by 6 am every.single.day. Yes. Every. One. However, upon waking, they were able to use the bathroom, brush their teeth, and get a tv show on the tv without needing Hubz or me to do it for them. A few of the days, Jake even got himself something to eat and drink. He hooked Cole up with a little juice box occasionally, as well.

Another big milestone is that Tate seems to be getting dressed by himself more often. He is putting his socks and shoes on, as well. I really had a sinking feeling that I was going to be helping with those until he was 16. Shew!!! Cole is also attempting to dress himself. He isn’t always successful, but he’s leaps and bounds beyond where his brothers were at that age. (Some of that was my doing with Jake…)

With the delays that the older two boys have had developmentally, it felt like this stage was never going to get here…so I am basking in the glorious feeling it is giving me. I am still busy, and they still need me for plenty of various reasons…but for some of the basics…and for some of the age appropriate tasks, they have moved to a state of independence. And I love it.

Tag Cloud

Mama Is Only Human

my journey...

Zero Exit

by Sara Jagielski

Musings of an Aspie

one woman's thoughts about life on the spectrum

Emma's Hope Book

Living Being Autistic

Carrie Cariello

Exploring the Colorful World of Autism


Just a redheaded dad trying to sort out parenting and the universe.

Grady P Brown - Author

Superheroes - Autism - Fantasy - Science Fiction

Swim in the Adult Pool

Finding humor in an ADHD life without water wings

Organized Babble

Babbling in the most coherent way possible

Addicted to Quippsy

In the not-so-distant future, you'll wish you wrote down everything your kids said. Now's your chance!

Filtered Light

“Sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never even knew you had.” ~ Alice Sebold

that cynking feeling

You know the one I'm talking about . . .

Run Luau Run

Run Committed

beyond the stoplight

sharing resources to create caring classroom communities for all children

The Domestic Goddess

Marj Hatzell Has Been Giving Stay-at-Home-Moms a Bad Name since 2005

"Write!" she says.

Tales from the car rider line and other stories

Autism & Oughtisms

Dealing with the endless "oughts" of parenting and autism.