A family's story

Posts tagged ‘Hubz’

Sweetness

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Photographic evidence of our first date.. 2/14/1998

A little over fifteen years ago (dang, I’m getting old), my roommate dragged me out on a Friday night. I was completely ready for my date with Ben & Jerry and some bad Friday night TV. I was in sweats and had no makeup on. I was kind of having a little pity party for myself.  But, that all ended when my roommate burst into the room, asking if I would go with her to a local establishment. I protested, but she said it was our duty as 2nd semester seniors to go out and have fun. I reluctantly agreed. I threw on some jeans, my favorite “going out” sweater, and a little eye makeup. I ran a brush through my hair and we were off.

We met a few of her friends out at a place called R&R’s. It wasn’t very late, but her friends had been celebrating the weekend for quite a while by the time we arrived. There was this one friend of hers who came up and greeted her with a big hug. “Who’s your friend?” “Boy, this is Lisa. Lisa, this is Boy.” We started chatting, first in a group, and then as the time went on, Boy and I chatted on the sidelines. He was friendly, outgoing, and cute.

Eventually we had to leave to go to a party at my roommate’s coworker’s apartment. We said our goodbyes, and headed for the door. As we were about to walk out, I doubled back and thanked Boy for the drink and conversation. He smiled, waved, and that was that…. Until about a week later when my roommate asked me if I had any Valentine’s Day plans. I didn’t…just my usual wearing black and maybe I’d have that date with Ben & Jerry, which I had postponed. She asked if I’d want some plans, as she knew her friend was interested in asking me to his fraternity’s Valentine’s Day dance. I hesitated… I didn’t want a relationship, but thankfully my roommate and my mom both pounded into my brain the fact that a date did not equate a relationship…so, upon the recommendation of my roommate, I accepted Boy’s offer.

He came to pick me up on Valentine’s Day evening. Before we were about to head out the door, my roommate snapped the picture above, so that my mom could see me “all dressed up with someplace to go”. Boy and I were having dinner with two of his fraternity brothers and their dates. During the dinner, it was quite obvious as to why my roommate referred to the three of them as “The Three Stooges”. In spite of their antics, we had fun, and it was nice to get out. One of the first things I truly remember Boy saying to me was, “How ’bout them Bears?” when the others in the group were getting into their own conversation about ROTC, a group to which neither Boy nor I belonged. I retorted, “They suck.” It was on….

Later in the evening, while we were back at the dance, Boy and I talked a lot. I felt at ease with Boy. I felt like I could talk to him about anything, really. Strange, that, considering I was usually very quiet around new people. When we sat down and he put his arm around my shoulders, I didn’t retreat back or move out of his reach. It was just “right”. It wasn’t love at first sight or anything…but he made me feel safe, comfortable…at ease. I loved our banter.

Eventually that date ended…and it lead to another…and another…and before I knew it, I found myself in a relationship, right when I didn’t want one. Call it fate, karma, a greater plan, what-ever, Boy became Boyfriend, who became Fiance, who finally became Hubz. And you know what?? To this day, I still feel safe, comfortable, and at ease with him. I enjoy our banter, and I still get a little flutter when I see a message from him on my phone. He is the Ross to my Rachel, the Han Solo to my Leia. And I’m ever grateful that my roommate dragged me out on a cold winter’s night so many years ago….

For Hubz

When we said our “I do-s” many moons ago, I certainly loved you. I had no doubt that you were my “one and only.” I had no idea, though, how I would fall in love with you all over again each time one of our children was born. Or how my love would grow as I watch you with our boys. You are an amazing example of how a man, how a dad, should be. You teach them everything from burping and wrestling to holding the door for ladies and helping their mother with groceries. You hold them accountable for their actions, and show them how to be responsible people. You exemplify how important it is to work hard, but to make time for family and for fun.

Just a few of the times I have fallen in love with you more….

During the 2004-05 college basketball season. Our university had an amazing team. You perched Jake on your lap, and sat with him to watch the games. You’d explain the action to him.  You talked about how exciting–and how important–it is to have fun while playing a game. You showed him how to be graceful in defeat, as our team went down in “March Madness.”

The way you would dress up to bring me and our newborn son(s) home from the hospital. Each one of our boys was unique and loved, and you showed your respect for them as new members of our family by wearing “fancy” clothes. It wasn’t a huge gesture, but it holds a place forever in my heart.

During the summer of 2006, our 4th of July plans got sidelined. You jumped into action, booking a room at a nearby hotel with water-park. You took Jake into the pools and played with him like he was a big kid. You made him feel so important after his baby brother took away much of the attention from him.

The many times when Tate was younger and unable to communicate, and you would just wait and let him tell you at his speed. You were so patient. So calm.

The summer of 2007 when we took a trip to the aquarium for our marine-animal-loving kiddo, Jake, and he freaked out and wanted no part of it. You maintained your calm, and took us over to a different attraction, making the most of our time in the city. You salvaged an afternoon of family fun.

The numerous times you’ve taken our boys into lakes and pools so I didn’t have to don a bathing suit…or submerge myself into the lake.

The summer of 2010 when my mom was sick. You stepped into the main caregiver role for our boys many days so that I could spend those last precious moments with my mom. You were a rock for all of us at that time. You tried to keep the boys’ routine as unaffected as possible.

The first day of school every year. You get wrapped up in the excitement, calm the fears that Jake and Tate have had, and share stories of your first days of school with them. You happily tote bags of supplies around, give pep talks, and take oodles of pictures that we can use to bribe them when they are teenagers.

The way that you maintain your sense of humor…through the 3 am diaper changes, through the sleepless nights (how many years later…), through the evaluations and diagnoses, through the easy times, through the painstakingly long sports games, and the school music concerts.

For all this, and more, I fall in love with you all over again….I hope you had a wonderful Father’s Day. You are everything I could hope and dream for as a dad for our boys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hubz’s Excellent Adventure

Remember learning about primitive cultures? Men were usually the hunters, and women were the gatherers? Funny how several thousands of years of progress and technological advances cannot take the “hunter” out of a guy.

Up until last Wednesday, we owned a 2001 Hyundai Santa Fe. Truth be told, the old girl was showing her age. She was losing her pep, she was making some odd noises, and she was looking, well, used.

Anticipating our van payments concluding this month, Hubz began his search for a new car last summer. He started looking at the various manufacturer websites. He did some test driving. He asked friends and family about their cars.

Eventually, Hubz limited his search to a “family” sedan. He scoured the Internet. He visited chat rooms. He pored over Consumer Reports. He was on the prowl.

I knew the deal was sealed after he went to the Auto Show last Monday. He came home with that “twinkle” in his eye. I’ve seen that twinkle a few other times during our relationship…and every time we have ended up making a big purchase. It was coming, I just didn’t know when.

Hubz got a few online quotes from a local Hyundai dealer on Tuesday. He could get a ‘killer deal” on a Sonata. It was his time to pounce….

So, after a little discussion on Tuesday night, he made the decision to go hunt down his prey and bring home his latest “kill”. He prepared for his hunting expedition. He got his arsenal of Internet quotes, pamphlets, and paperwork in order. He arranged for his dad, the master negotiator, to go with him. He all but put on the war paint.

Hubz took off Wednesday morning to help me out. I was barely able to sit up due to the crud. Once the clock struck 1, though, he was getting anxious. He could smell his prey in our garage..it was *right* there….so he left in a flash.

Two hours later I got a call as I waited to pick up Jake from school.
Uh, Lees, um, is the checkbook on the counter?

Isn’t it in the pile of stuff? I didn’t touch the pile. I am waiting at school right now, but I can check when we get home.

It’s not here. Dammit! Can you check when you get home? Please…and let me know.

Yes, I’ll check. Good luck.

Seriously?! He forgot the checkbook?! Arghhh…all that and then he forgets the checkbook?! I checked the house when I got home. The checkbook was sitting on the dining room table next to his work id badge. I called to let him know. He thanked me…and let me know that they were going to let him bring the check tomorrow.

It was 7:30 at night by the time he got home. He was so proud of his brand new 2012 Hyundai Sonata GLS…limited. He proudly showed off the fruits of his labor. The bounty from his hunting expedition, if you will…

It is a nice car. It drives very nicely…and is so, so clean! My feet didn’t stick to the floor…and the door panels aren’t coated in perma-crud from the kids. It’s “sweet”. He did a good job.

The story should end there, but it doesn’t….on Friday Hubz called me from work. He had dropped off the check the day before but…he didn’t sign it. For serious. He forgot his checkbook, then he forgot to sign said check once he got it to them…d’oh!!

We drove down to the dealer as a family on Saturday so he could sign the check. Maybe if they saw the car full of crazy in the parking lot they would take pity on him??? I am sure he is on a blacklist somewhere…but at least he’s got his new car..and it is a done deal. Now all I have to worry about is what he’ll decide to “hunt” next….

Sick and Tired

I absolutely, without a shadow of a doubt hate cold and flu season. Hate it. It’s bad enough having 3 kids who are germ-factories, but when one of those children has Autism, and what seems to be a weaker immune system, it’s hell on earth.

Tate doesn’t get the sniffles. Oh, no….he gets a full-fledged head cold, replete with booming sneezes and snot horns. (Oh, you know what I mean.) And when said head cold also has some chest congestion and a cough?? God help us.

Cole and Tate have had this most recent virus since last weekend. They have bad coughs. They are sneezing, and they have gobs of nasal secretions coming out of their noses. Gag! Also, since the concept of blowing your nose into a tissue seems to allude them both, there is shtuff everywhere.

During Tate’s therapy and Cole’s naptime, I sanitized, sprayed Lysol, and rid the house of germy tissues (which I made them use–I know, I’m like the worst mom ever!). I have had to change Tate’s shirt every day, as his sleeves may quite possibly have Ebola…or some other type of virus. I wiped down tables, chairs, the couch, etc. Fun, fun stuff.

Additionally, for many of the past 5 nights Hubz and I have been up, due to complications that Tate is having with his cold. Monday night was the Pukefest. Tuesday night Tate ended up in bed with us. Wednesday night he wouldn’t go to sleep and Hubz ended up sleeping in his room. Thursday night he was crying because he might cough, so I ended up in his room. Last night Hubz was up with him every couple of hours because Tate was perseverating on his cough.

Today Hubz has deep bags under his eyes, and seems to be hacking up his left lung. My throat is scratchy, and I have a headache. I was up once with Tate and Hubz, too.

So, um, yeah, cold season blows…literally. I hope that Tate can kick this soon so we can all start sleeping again…

Let it Grow…

11 years ago, today, Hubz and I got married. It was a sunny and perfectly crisp fall afternoon. In fact, it was quite possibly one of the top 10 most beautiful days of my life. We were so blessed to be surrounded by family and friends as we said our “I-do’s”. It was my princess moment.

At our reception we danced our first dance to Eric Clapton’s, “Let it Grow”. Looking back, I think it was very appropriate.

In the past 11 years we have added 3 beautiful, quirky, and can’t-imagine-life-without-them sons. We moved into a bigger house. We weathered my layoff, and career changes. We have said goodbye to loved ones. We have gone on some big, memorable vacations. We’ve survived home improvements. We’ve muddled through retirement planning (and have lamented that we may not ever retire) and financial decisions. We’ve had a preemie in the NICU. We’ve gotten through an Autism diagnosis for our son. We’ve worried about our oldest son’s learning struggles. We have celebrated numerous blessings. And we have sat through our fair share of pee-wee sports and little league games.

And through it all….the big, momentous “game-changers” to the little, mundane everyday in-between moments, Hubz and I have grown. We’ve grown as individuals, we’ve grown as parents, and we’ve grown as a couple.

I know that there is no one else I’d rather have in the trenches of life with me. The way he stands by me, and our boys, the way he wants to be there for us and with us, the way he almost always knows exactly what to say…it gives me joy…and hope for a great life together now and always.

Love you, Hubz….here’s to many,many more wonderful years together!

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