A couple weeks ago I read a Diary of a Mom post on Facebook. In it, she stated, “Life is beautiful, but perfect is a load of crap.” I couldn’t agree more. Perfect is a load of hooey. Yes, I said it. And, as a perfectionist, well, I consider that a breakthrough. Really. I want to thank her for helping me feel comfortable with sharing my declaration with the Interwebz.
While I don’t necessarily read a blog that portrays the “perfect” family…I have a few Facebook friends who only post the pretty and fabulous. For years, I would let myself get upset by the fact that their lives were seemingly so perfect, and that they had their acts SO together. But, come on…we’re human. There is always, always, always going to be some crap in our lives…and our kids aren’t always so fabulous to each other(what’s that shrieking in the other room?? Oh, the boys are sitting on each other’s heads)…and family outings aren’t always picture books of joy (our kids are people with their own thoughts, plans and agendas, and sometimes they do NOT want to follow ours). Life is not perfect. It just isn’t.
I admit that I am an over-sharer. I’m pretty much an open book. If you know me, you know the good, the bad, and the kind of ugly. I am not afraid to let people know when I’m happy, ecstatic, ticked off, or disappointed. I like to think that I keep it real. I share our ups and our downs. I don’t share everything, as I do have some sense that the world doesn’t need to know all of our nitty gritty details. My biggest thing is that while we have loads of good and fantastic moments, we have not so perfect moments. And it’s okay. (Another epiphany for me…it’s okay to not be perfect. In fact, there’s a lot of good to not being perfect.)
For me, it’s isolating and somewhat depressing to be knee deep in “mess” and feel like I’m the ONLY one. So, I “put it out there” and let people know, to a degree, that life here isn’t all puppy dogs and rainbows. And, well, I want to let my friends and family know that they don’t have to pretend with me. Pretense is not necessary. I celebrate the parts of life that are awesome. I lament that aspects of life can be awful. I also have been known to say that things are status quo…and that I’m perfectly okay with boring. Honestly, I hope that most of us find that middle ground where we get to live most of our days contented and balanced. Of course, I hope that there is more awesome than awful in all of our lives.
But for goodness’ sake, stop with the “everything is coming up roses”….just because life is messy does not mean it isn’t wonderful. Go ahead and post about the bickering driving you crazy, or the speeding ticket, or the museum visit that ended in tears because the gift shop didn’t have a pink stegosaurus. You’ll find out that a lot of people will know EXACTLY where you’re coming from…and there’s a lot of wonderful in the “me, too”.