This morning started like so many others. Jake and Tate were in our room at 5 am. Tate nudged his way onto my side of the bed. Jake sprawled on Hubz’s side. Hubz and I ended up squished in the middle. At 5:15, Cole started blaring like an alarm clock, “Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!”. I hurtled myself over Tate and got Cole. Like the song, they all rolled over and one fell out…well, not really. We managed to squeeze all five of us into our bed. Guess that king sized mattress comes in handy again…
I tried to be lazy. I tried to close my eyes and shut it all out. But the reality was there…in bed with me. My day job was starting.
Mom, come play with me.
Mom, Cole made a mess with books in his room.
Mom, I play with your phone now.
Mom, I peed all by myself. (I am handed a pair of pj shorts to help my youngest scramble back into.)
Hon, why don’t you go take a hot shower. I’ll handle this. (I opted not to shower immediately–the new treadmill was beckoning.)
Mom, the tv won’t work. It’s broken.
Ok. Give me a minute and I’ll be down to fix it. Sigh….
I rolled out of bed and sleepily threw on my workout gear. I slathered deodorant under my arms, brushed my hair into a sloppy ponytail, and brushed my teeth. After swiping my face with a warm wet washcloth, I used my asthma meds and lumbered down the stairs. I turned into the living room and pulled clothes from the neatly sorted piles for the boys. Underwear, socks, shirts, pants…one set for Tate, one for Cole. Tate gets his brown and blue striped shirt today. Cole will be happy with his Scooby-Doo shirt. I just knew that it would be a battle to get dressed.
Mom! The tv?!
I slowly made my way into the sunken family room. The U-verse box was cycling. “Rethink Possible” was plastered across the tv screen. HA! I thought. I explained that the “cable” was down, so we would have to watch a DVD. The boys agreed to that compromise. I threw in a Scooby-Doo video we had borrowed from the library. Tate seemed happiest of all…until Cole pried the DVD case from his hands. A chase broke out. Whining started. Seriously…again?!
Cole, give your brother the DVD case. Tate, relax…try Mario instead. Here’s your DS. I’m going to make coffee.
Hubz came down the stairs. He asked if I got the paper. I replied that I hadn’t. He ran outside to grab it. I continue to make the coffee. I decided to make mini-chocolate chip pancakes for the boys for breakfast. 2 out of 3 boys in our household deemed them gross and inedible. That was all they were getting. Until it wasn’t…we let Tate have some cheese.
As I sat down to sip my coffee and eat my peanut butter toast, Jake happily proclaimed that the tv was working again. He got a show going for the 3 of them. Hubz read the paper. He remarked on some positive news about his team’s running back. I nodded and started to read some of my favorite blogs. I got interrupted. Again.
At some point, Hubz was getting ready to leave for the day. He has 8 am conference calls these days, so he jumps on them while driving up to work. I handle getting the kids to school. Today there was some scuffle about a missing Cub Scout Popcorn order sheet. Neither Hubz nor I know where Jake’s sheet went. As we huffed and puffed around the house, Hubz gave up saying maybe it was at work. He’d look for it later. He then said goodbye. I felt frustrated and upset because I felt like he was blaming me for the missing sheet. When he said goodbye, I *may* have rolled my eyes. He snapped back. I asked why he seems irritated with me all the time lately. He said I seem angry with everyone and everything lately.
Sigh….he’s right. I am short with everyone. I feel very squashed right now. I am struggling. Things are going somewhat smoothly…but there’s always something. Always. I need to figure out what to do…where to go from here. I need to find some things just for me that make me happy. I need to find a way to assuage the mommy guilt that plagues me most days. I need to find a way to say no to the things that I don’t need to do. I need to find a way to feel less squashed…