A family's story

A Case of the Mondays

I knew it was a bad omen when Jake and Tate came into our room at 3 am this morning. I wanted to roll over and ignore it…but I couldn’t. They were in my face and very persistent.  Tate could not sleep. He decided that Jake should keep him company. Jake was game until he realized that we were not going to be watching tv. Once I made that pointedly clear, along with the fact that when it is pitch black outside, it means that we should be sleeping, Jake was very eager to go back to bed. He was asleep within 15 minutes.

I laid next to Tate as he fought sleep. I was in and out of consciousness. I kept my eyes shut and laid very still, hoping he’d get the hint. Has trouble reading social cues…Oh, riiighhhtt. Guess that my impression of a “sleeping person” was lost on my son. He got up and turned on the lights. I directed him to turn them back off. He stood up and jumped up and down. I asked him to get back into bed. He started to pace the room. I pleaded with him to come fall asleep. We did this dance for about an hour. Finally, I passed out from sheer exhaustion. He must have dozed off at some point, as well, because at 5:30, when Jake woke up for the day, Tate was drooling on the pillow next to me.

Tate was fairly calm and relaxed this morning. He didn’t fight getting dressed. He ate a little something (goldfish..yes, goldfish). He didn’t protest his morning therapist. He went with the flow, which was great. He had a play date set up with his friend Geo. I didn’t cancel it, thinking that it would be great for him to see Geo again. They had a blast. They also spent a ton of energy. Seriously, if we had one of those scream/giggle machines from Monsters, Inc, I think I could have supplied power to the block for a good day and a half.

During Tate’s play date, Cole and I did battle over potty training. I am so over it. He, however, hasn’t quite learned when to get himself to the potty. The laundry pile is growing. I’m out of sanitizing wipes. This is WORK, people!! At least today, I was better trained in terms of getting him on there. I didn’t have to mop up anything, which is a score. Of course, he went and hid when he had to poop. He came into the kitchen and didn’t have to announce himself. His pants did that for him. And another 2 pieces of laundry that need to get washed and sanitized.

Jake and I also went for a round over some “homework” his tutor had given him. He had to draw a picture and then write a paragraph about it. He drew an alligator and labeled it. He proclaimed his homework was complete. I took a look and informed him that when I was in third grade, a paragraph was a few sentences. With proper spelling and capitalization. And punctuation. I got an honest-to-goodness eye roll. Yay me! He and I worked on getting his thoughts together to form a rudimentary paragraph. Despite every fiber in my being wanting to take over and write it for him, I let him do it. I did make sure his spelling and punctuation were correct. He was in charge of putting his thoughts into sentences. It’s not the greatest, but at least he did what he was supposed to do. I’d like to point out, though, that something that should have taken a half hour took twice that time once we factored in bathroom breaks, eye rolls, a shut-down, a head-on-the-table, and lots of sighing.

At lunch time, I became a short-order cook. None of the 3 wanted anything the same. I tried my best to accommodate their needs, but made sure to sneak in some healthy goodies, too. Thankfully Jake and Cole will eat anything if it has guacamole on it…so they got carrot sticks with their sandwiches and chips. Tate said he wasn’t hungry. He didn’t touch his turkey sandwich, and gave Cole his cheese.

Tate started his afternoon therapy session around noon. At 12:45 he and his therapist came upstairs. He was tearful and whiney. He was completely melting down. She decided it wasn’t worth pushing him, considering how tired he is today. I know his other therapist may have pushed him, but Tate definitely does certain things for certain therapists, and this one he tests more. We agreed to let him rest this afternoon. I attempted to get him to nap. No dice. He’s sitting here, as I type, demanding the computer for his use. He thinks that a game on Disney Junior is much more interesting than mom’s blog. To him, I am sure it is…but seriously…no more Doc McStuffins…please.

I have to drag my chaos into the library later today. Jake has tutoring. Part of me hopes his tutor knows her class list…and part of me doesn’t. The part that doesn’t want to know is the part that is afraid that Jake doesn’t have his tutor as a 3rd grade teacher. Ugh.

Once we’re done at the library, we are grabbing the boys some dinner and heading home, where Hubz will hang with them, and I’ll go wait in line for God-knows-how-long in order to prove that we live in the district boundaries so that I can get those oh-so-precious envelopes.

I think I am going to take a little rest…maybe when I wake up it will be Tuesday. (Which has its own set of issues…but at least it is not Monday.)

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Comments on: "A Case of the Mondays" (8)

  1. Hang in there. And remember – an eye roll is non-verbal communication.

  2. No sleep gets to us all! Have you done the melatonin thing? When we first tried, it worked but Toots had a terrible reaction and was super grumpy. I couldn’t take the awake at midnight kid though so I halved the dose and it has worked like a charm. I give it to him 45-60 minutes before I want him out and it has worked. You can find it in Whole Foods, liquid form with a dropper. Just a thought…

    Sorry about Cole and the extra laundry. Someday it will end!! I’m still waiting for the end here at age 6! Today, he had an accident that needed washing by hand, to scrape it off (UGH!!) and then washing more… you know… I get it.

    The food is hard to get in them when they are tired and don’t know what they want or need. I’m cheering for you on the teacher thing! I hope you get who you need but even if you don’t, know that the rest of us are here to help you make the best of what you need to do to get the boys where they need to be! ((Hugs)) – Sounds like a Monday that needs chocolate to me!!

    • I did have some chocolate that night. Felt it was well-deserved! I really need to get that dropper. We have the spray, and it just does not do it for Tate.

  3. What a crazy day you’ve had, but then again, that is pretty normal for us Autism parents. It definitely requires a certain amount of patience and mental fortitude. 🙂 I’m crossing my fingers that the school heard you out and you get the teacher for your son that you have requested. And good luck to you and your sons with the potty training. That has been an ongoing issue for a couple of years with Joel. We definitely take it one day at a time.

    I think sleep has (so far) been the one issue we have not had a problem with; well that and food. Joel moves around so much during the day, that he is just too exhausted to put up a fight at bedtime. I am extremely grateful for this. Every day.

    • Thank you for being supportive– yes, when living with someone who is on the Spectrum, the days can be a bit chaotic! I’m so glad that Joel does not have the sleep issues. They are brutal some nights/days. We all have our struggles, and we’re blessed that Tate doesn’t have issue with other things. But, I really could use some sleep. 🙂

  4. Thanks so much for sharing your blog! Tate sounds very very like my Theo, until Theo was 7 he didn’t do potty training – refused point blank, managed to run around like an over powered energizer bunny with just two hours sleep per night with no other nap times (I couldn’t find that battery pack anywhere!!) and he self harmed. Not long after his 7th birthday he decided that he didn’t want to wear training pants, he wanted to be a big boy. Like you I had self breeding washing – it didn’t matter how often that machine was on there was always more to go in!! Over the next few months he was potty trained (as long as he wasn’t on meltdown), soon after this he started sleeping for 5 hours per night and after another few months after that – the self harming completely disappeared!!

    You are doing an absolutely fantastic job with the boys!! Your hard work with them will make them absolutely brilliant children as they continue to learn and develop through it!! That light at the end of the tunnel may seem like a star in another galaxy but you’ll get there, because you’re giving them the love and support they need!!

    Again – Thank you for sharing!! Xx

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