I know that this post most likely will only entertain me…but I want to document a few of the amusing phrases that have slipped through my children’s lips lately.
Let’s talk about Jake. Somewhere on TV he heard the phrase, “Snug as a bug in a rug” in a Southern dialect. He now makes up these weird phrases and says them in a Southern twang…”worms are wiggly as a bug in mud”. “I’m wet as a prickly fish in a puddle.” “I’ll shush you like a slammer-jammer.” For serious. He’s said these things. When I’ve questioned their origin he has told me he created them. Observe:
Me: Where did you get that from?
Jake: My brain! (Duh, you ignorant woman!)
Jake also uses the phrase “headbutt slam” way too often. It’s fairly self-explanatory, but I really wonder why he needs to use it when I ask if he’s finished a chore. Observe:
Me: Jake, did you put your cleats in the shoe bin?
Jake: Mom, do I need to headbutt slam you?
Me: (in my mind- wtf?!) A simple yes or no works…
Moving on to Tate. He just cracks me up. While his spontaneous speech continues to evolve and progress, he does have a lot of scripts and some echolalia. What’s funny is when the scripts and echolalia are slightly different from what has actually been said. Observe:
Tv commercial for Capri Sun: Respect it! Respect the pouch!
Tate: Expect it! Expect the couch!
Me: Gross! That’s disgusting!
Tate: Gurrwoss! That’s discussing!
Me: Mmm! Delicious!
Tate: Mmm! Dishes! (Although, he’s actually saying delicious more and more!)
Veggie Tales: If you like to talk to tomatoes….if a squash can make you smile, if you like to waltz with potatoes, up and down the produce aisle…have we got a show for you.
Tate: Ip you like to talk to tomatoes, ip a squash can make you smile, ip you like to walk with potatoes, up and down the puppy’s smile, have we got a show for you.
(This is better when he’s belting it out at the top of his lungs, doing his Tater dance and beaming a huge smile…it’s infectious…)
Tate: Gimme that chicken nuggets, NOW!
Me: Whoa! Can you ask differently?
Tate: Gimme those chicken nuggets.
Me: How about a polite word?
Tate: Please. Gimme those chicken nuggets. NOW!
Me (inner head slap…) Can you ask nicely?
Tate: I said please.
Cole. Ah, my sweet Cole. He is two-months-shy-of-three. He is the most verbal of my 3 boys. He has great conversation skills. But, being just-shy-of-three, he has those adorable misprnounciations that are sweet.
Cole: Can I play with the train traps?
Me: the train tracks? Sure.
Cole: Thanks, Mommy! Train traps are cool!
Cole: Can I get papas at Cossco?
Me: You want pizza at Costco?
Me: Can you ask nicely?
Cole: Thank you!
Cole: My bird day is in Joom.
Me: Your birthday is in June.
Cole: My birthday is in June. I get cake and presents.
Cole: And woo-woo trucks.
Me: Fire trucks.
Cole: Fi-wer trucks. And Lego dudes.
Me: Fire trucks and Lego dudes. Yep.
Cole: I wanna watch Doc mcstuppins.
Me: Doc McStuffins.
Me: How do you ask?
I just totally giggled. At my own post. Ahh, well, at least I amused myself and recorded these for posterity!