A family's story

An Apology

I have been struggling with an internal battle. I so badly want others to feel my pain. My struggles. My frustration. I sometimes get so wrapped up in my life that I forget to be empathetic to others. I’m sorry.

Advanced-Math Student’s Mom, I’m sorry. I suppose that if my son were in the highest math group, I, too, would want him to stay there. The 12 weeks over summer break is a long time for any kid to retain all of the skills needed to maintain that level of performance. I should not have looked at you incredulously when you said you were hoping to retain the same math tutor we found for Jake. Jake needs her services to gain ground. Your son needs them to maintain it.

Popular Kid who’s invited to every birthday party’s Mom, I’m sorry. I am sure that the expense of getting a gift that was equal to the last kid’s gift runs up there. I know it’s one more thing to pile on your schedule. I shouldn’t have glared at you when you complained about all of these birthday parties…and how everyone knows what you mean. Jake has been invited to 2 parties since August. TWO. Tate hasn’t been invited to any. Kids love parties, though, and I know it is hard to say no to my son(s) when they are excited.

Athletic Kid’s Mom, I’m sorry. I can only imagine the stress of juggling soccer, baseball and lacrosse practices and games. I am sure you spend tons on equipment and camps to help your son continue to achieve success in his sports. I bet you can’t remember the last time you ate a meal at home with the family. I should not have rolled my eyes when you “complained” about squeezing in a spa day because you needed it. I know the feeling of being a shuttle service. The main difference is that you shuttle to and fro to watch your kid succeed in athletics, and I shuttle to and fro to therapy to try to help my child succeed in this society.

Typically-Developing Kid’s Mom, I’m sorry. Parenting is hard. I am sure you second guess yourself all the time. I’m sure there are things you want your child to do, but s/he won’t. I know that they can drive you crazy, and the decisions are difficult. I know you want the best for him/her. I shouldn’t envy you like I do. I shouldn’t wish that you could feel the heartache I feel when my son babbles on about his Pokemon cards, not noticing that a peer isn’t the least bit interested. Or hope you’re “one of us” when I see you daughter flap her arms in a tantrum. No. That’s not fair…and I’m sorry for thinking that sometimes.

Lately, I have noticed that I am a little too judgmental…and too quick to be frustrated or irritated by other parents. For that, I apologize. I will try to see the world through your experiences too…because we have to be there for each other. We parents have to stick together…support each other when we’re struggling to make it.

When we boil it down, it comes down to love. We all do what we do out of the deep love we have for our kids, and we should not be judged for that, right?


Comments on: "An Apology" (5)

  1. I’ve written a similar post in my head so many times but not nearly as eloquently as you and with much more sarcasm. It never quite sounded how I intended it to. Yours was perfect.

  2. Right. I enjoyed this post. For my kids, I would add too many play dates. Why are we always the one to have to make the call. Is there something wrong with my kid?

  3. My Asperger's Teen said:

    It’s so hard not to judge, especially when we’re so used to being judged by others. I often find myself rolling my eyes at the “typical” parenting problems that I would give anything to have. But I try to remind myself that everyone struggles on their own level – if I wasn’t dealing with the issues my son has, I’d be dealing with other issues. And they wouldn’t be any less important to me because they would still involve my child. But that doesn’t mean I’m always able to think that way – sometimes it’s more than we’re capable of. Thanks for this post. 🙂

  4. I think it takes a special brand of narcissism to talk non-stop about a child’s achievements, no matter who is doing the talking. I could not have written this post – I’d get too riled up! Way to go mama! You said it for all of us!

  5. Oh so well said. I get the birthday party thing. I do. My son’s been invited to one party this whole year and he’s dying to go. We will go but deep down I know he doesn’t even like the kid. Sigh. I’m with you.

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