A family's story

The Big Divide

Mommy, come play with me! This simple phrase means so much to me. While I would love for this to come from Tate, it’s actually coming from his little brother. And, even though there are so many moments where playing with him is not on my priority list…or not what I really want to do at the moment he requests my companionship, I stop and play with Cole for a bit.

With Tate, I have to prompt him, and initiate the playtime. It is almost never spontaneous. And often a chore. Before I know it, he is on to the next “thing”…in his own world.

Peas, momma, peas read dis to me. Cole also asks us to read to him.  Jake loved having stories read to him; Tate, not so much…he couldn’t attend long enough to even know who the main character was. It has been such a joy to share Jake’s old books with Cole. I love seeing which ones they share a love of, and which ones they don’t.

I draw, Mommy. You come draw, too.Today, I pulled out the crayons and coloring tablet. Cole and I were coloring at the table. Tate was invited to join us, but he preferred to flip the red and black crayons…his two favorite colors. As he flipped his crayons, he recited some of his scripts about sharing.

I asked Cole about the dragon in the picture. He began to tell me a story about the dragon, a castle, and Captain Hook. Our dragon’s name is Mommy. The knight in the picture is Cole. The dragon lives in Mommy’s room in the dark. It goes, “Grrrrrr”. Cole then showed me his “scared” face. (Which is damn priceless, if you ask me.)

Editor’s Note: Um, if your kid says the dragon has your name and lives in your room, what is your kid saying about you????Am I THAT surly around here?!

I asked Tate what his dragon might do, where it might live. Shoo, mommy, shoo. No.

And there it was, again, the evidence of the big divide in my sons’ development and abilities. Every day I am torn between savoring every moment of Cole’s development, and struggling to accept Tate’s deficiencies and helping him achieve more milestones.

It is so unfair sometimes…watching the ease with which Cole navigates the world…and the utter awkwardness with which Tate maneuvers it. 

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Comments on: "The Big Divide" (2)

  1. Still. . . dragons?? Knights? Castles and GRRRRRR. Pretty good stuff!

    • It was a GREAT convo with Cole…and I loved it. Those are the things that I love sharing and seeing the world through their eyes is amazing…was just a little sad that Tate couldn’t/wouldn’t join in the fun. 🙂

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