I’m a little bit stuck

Just in case you were worried, we did survive the party extravaganza that was Cole’s 5th birthday! The whole thing went very well, considering that it was 90+ degrees and quite humid. The kids were troopers, and we were able to keep the cast of thousands (or, well, 30) outside! I will try to write an entire post encapsulating the birthday later…

I am sure that if you were a frequent visitor to my blog, you have noticed that my posts have been few and far between. Lately I haven’t been as inspired to write. I’m not sure if it is the busy-ness of raising three kids, the roller coaster that is life, or just trying to balance what I write about the boys.

I have read many blogs where the parent blogger has curtailed his or her posts because the kids are becoming REAL PEOPLE. Not that they weren’t real people in the past, but the kids are getting older, have opinions and desires, and do not necessarily want their lives shared on the Interwebz for any random person to read. To be honest, my boys don’t really understand what a blog is. Jake knows that I write stuff, but he calls it email. Tate has no clue, and Cole probably is here editing what I write about him. 😉

I am going to keep writing, as it is cathartic for me, and really, it allows me to get my thoughts out and share our world with others. If I can help one other person out there feel like they are not alone, then I’ve accomplished my purpose here.

A brief update on our lives is in order, too. Hubz is still commuting into the city. It’s odd not having him around every morning. I didn’t realize how much we connected during our morning chats over the paper and coffee. I really miss those random conversations..and I miss him. For now, though, this is what we have to do to keep our family running.

Jake is hanging in there. I am keeping him busy this summer. He has been attending Extended School Year. The class he is in focuses on math, reading, and writing. He needs to keep up with all of those skills to enter 5th grade on a confident note. He is also being tutored twice a week. Right now his tutor is “pre-teaching” the U.S. Colonies. In our district, 5th graders study the colonies in the beginning of the year. He is really enjoying it, and I know that this will build his confidence once school starts. Finally, he is attending a boys’ camp once a week for 4 hours. This camp is run by his psychologist and her partner. They do 45 minutes of exercise, an art therapy, a music therapy, and a group therapy. They end their evening with some relaxation and meditation. I can tell he is enjoying it. On the downside, the anxiety beast is rearing its ugly head around here…again. I wish he didn’t struggle with it so much.

Tate is doing pretty well. He’s also in Extended School Year. There is one more week of that left. He is also doing several sessions of ABA. We have worked closely with our BCBA to come up with some good programs for him this summer. He is learning to ride a bike. He is practicing sports skills like soccer and baseball and basketball. He is working on curtailing his electronics addiction while at the dinner table. And he’s working on conversation skills. He is busy and happy, and gets to play with the hose each day.

We did decide to try a new medication. He is on his 3rd week of Intuniv. This medication is supposed to help with his impulse control. It works in conjunction with his focus medication. I have noticed that he is slowing down a bit and thinking the process of reading and math through more thoroughly. However, he’s been very mumble-y lately, and I worry that it could be a side-effect.

Cole, oh, Cole….he is officially 5 now. He’s doing a kindergarten kick-off that our district runs for incoming kindergarteners. He enjoys it–especially socially. I already have been informed that he has a girlfriend. EEEK! This child does not skip a beat! He is also gripping his pencil better than he had been, and is writing his name much more clearly than he was just 6 weeks ago. He is full of spice and vinegar. He and I have butted heads more than a few times.

He is also going to start OT soon. His PT and I were talking, and I mentioned a few concerns that I had about sensory issues and about his writing. An OT in the therapy center did an evaluation, and sure enough, Cole qualifies for one hour of OT a week. Awesome. Just once I’d like to have an eval done where they say, “Nope, he’s all good.” Dang. I’m a little sad, but mostly hopeful that he will get some help with his weak areas, and that we won’t be in OT for a long period of time. I’m also freaking out about how to squeeze this in during the school year with 3 kids in school full time.

I’m doing okay. I’m tired. A lot. The kids’ sleep patterns have been random and spotty this summer. I’m anxious. I wonder how I’m going to fit in all of their various therapies and extracurricular activities once school starts. I’m trying to enjoy the boys for who they are and what they enjoy…and I am REALLY, REALLY trying to let go of my insecurities…my fears…my self-consciousness.

As always, we are a work in progress…and we’ll get there. Just like this blog.