Tate has been a wreck. In Tuesday’s post I discussed how dysregulated he was this past weekend. Thing is, the past 3 weekends have been like that. He wants to stay home. He whines. He scripts incessantly. He bosses his brothers around like a little dictator. I know he’s struggling…and I can’t pinpoint the exact cause of his distress. And that is what distresses me.
It may be the winter weather. Tate has never liked winter. He hates pants and long sleeves. He shuns boots and mittens and hats. He complains about the 2-layer winter coat that he needs to wear when the temperatures dip below freezing. Please do not get me started on snowpants…which almost always end up with one or both of us in tears. Tate is super sensitive to the cold. The kid “runs hot”, and yet, when he’s outside in the frigid air, it’s like he’s in suspended animation and he just can’t get his body to work. Commence whining, as he has yet to learn to cope with the cold. (I really can’t say much..I hate the extreme cold, too.)
Maybe it’s the change in the way his team at school is handling his behaviors. They are working on helping him learn to wait…which I have established is incredibly difficult for Tate. The new routine and behavior plan may be stressing him out. That, on top of the weather may be making school a bit too much for him…and he holds it together there fairly well, so he falls apart at home–his comfort zone???
Maybe it’s the lack of outdoor recess? It’s been FRIGID this week. The kids haven’t been outside at all. My kid needs physical release. He needs that time to run, swing, jump, crash, yell, scream. That outdoor, be-as-loud-as-you-want-to-be time.
The dysregulation could be a result of anxiety over my change in behavior. I notoriously struggle during the cold winter months. I get SAD. I am much better this year, thanks to a healthier diet and regular exercise…but I still don’t get proper sleep (thanks to my children), and hence, can be a bit short and crabby..and down. It’s harder to be the cheerleader when all one wants to do is lay on the couch and read or surf the Interwebz.
Tate is on meds for his ADHD. He had been more focused and attentive and less impulsive on the meds. But we haven’t had a change in dosage in a year. In a year, he has grown 2 inches and lost about 8 pounds. (He had been “obese”, so the weight change was being monitored, but wasn’t detrimental.) I have noticed less focus and more impulsive behaviors lately. He is fidgety again. And he wants to stim all.the.time. We see the psychiatrist in 2 weeks. I am wondering if it’s time to change his medications…
If I’m honest with myself, I know that the struggles are from a combination of all of the above. He has a lot going on. I guess my sleuthing needs to uncover which of the above is the biggest driver of his behavior…and then I need to see how I can help him feel better. Which is difficult when he won’t break a script…and won’t use a script to help me out. All I can decipher right now is that he’s pretty darn miserable…and I told him last night I want to help him feel better. That garnered me a hug. Which gave me a dash of hope that maybe we can get him to his happy place again.
Right now, though? I’m stuck in that hard place…and it’s not a place where I want to be…or him to be.